Nap Picks: What I do at Mamas

Howdy Blog Pals, or should a say Plogs...


First, wanted to say thanks for the encouragement!  It seems that people take a big effort to let me know in real life that "your blog is so funny" & "Your blog is great!" & "Nathan your sooo HOT!" (Made up that last one.)   So THANKS!  I appreciate the props... 


Will I do hope you have read my latest post on beards, and more beards.  However, This post is an addition to a previous post.  What I do when I eat... 




Being a professional 21st Century American Nomad, I don't have a place to lay my head, as the 'son of man' would say.  I spend time at the houses of friends and family, Couch surfing.  


During the day I spend almost all of my time at my favorite Globally minded coffee shop: Mama Carmen's! (or as I call it Matriarch Vehicle-Male's).  Mama Carmen is this stud Christian Worker in Guatemala who adopts street children as her own, caring and providing for them.  IN turn, She just trusts God to provide for her. Its incredible.  So one time a guy GAVE HER A COFFEE FARM.  Just gave it to her.  SOOO New Heights Church in Fayetteville, AR, decided to help provide for her buy buying her coffee.  So they set up this sweet coffee shop...


Mama Carmen's Espresso Cafe, like Will Smith and Basketball courts, is where I spend most of my days.  However, instead of relaxin and maxin and acting all cool, I am reading books, support raising, and acting all cool.  Also Playing Settlers of Catan...


So when I need a break, like yesterday, I draw Napkin pictures and Napkin cartoons....


Without further ado, Here is said cartoons, & the soul reason for the post:

 A pirate fighting a laZor Unicorn allied with Gummy Bears

Beards getting longer or "Beards, continued"

My former beard post was so popular that President Obama asked me to take it down because it was hindering his debt talks.  Pelosi and Boehner couldn't focus, reading my blog on their iPhones and all...

SO, I decided to post some neat things about beards and beards on the internets! 

Links

Here is a sweet beard of a magic guy creating beards out of thin air! (As opposed to 'over-weight' air)  I want to learn how he does it, but magic is of the Devil (like Harry P...  I wont even say his name...) and besides, I grow my beard like Jesus does (not DID. Hes alive)!  

One of the greatest beard sources on the web is http://www.beards.org/ A fantastic site of beardy beardieness.  

If these amazing blog posts haven't convinced you sissy boys to grow a manly awesome beard here are 10 reasons to:

http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

Warning! I laughed so hard I peed myself, but it also has some potty language.  (Grammy I'm talking to you!)

LADIES...

I realize that you are feeling really left out right now.  I feel your pain.  When I was a small school boy (insert fat joke, such as "when were you small?!" [now I have your sympathy...]) I too didn't have a beard.  I'm sure glad I became a man and mine came in, because then my blog would have been called "where the grows," and that makes absolutely NO sense.  

FEAR NOT, as the angels of the good book say, You can have a beard too!  Just click here! http://www.imadeyouabeard.com/ 

              ^ I know what your thinking & its not gross.

One more thing...

Folks, I love beards (if you can't tell).  I hope you do as well, or at least I hope they GROW ON YOU.  However, speaking totally candidly, I wished facial hair grew to a much greater light in the hearts and minds of the people in the USA.  It seems that the hobos, uni-bombers, Joaquin Phoenixes, and all the creepos in South Dakota have ruined the beard's good name. 

 But lets be honest, the people that our culture loves most all have beards and we don't mind it at bit.  We even let them into our houses uninvited once a year! We celebrate their birthdays! We eat their Chicken!  Ladies and gentlemen, we even accept them into our hearts...

If I have failed to persuade you thus far, I'll just show you the biblical command...  

Leviticus 19:27

 ²⁷ "Don't cut the hair on the sides of your head or trim your beard.

Therefore, when will you grow your beard out?  Do you have a beard?  Email me a picture of your beard (nathanallen86@gmail.com) and I will rate them on my site!!!  Till next time friends...

An Ode to the beard

Come Listen closely and you shall hear

A poem so touching you might shed a tear.

It's mighty and funny and maybe a little weird,

But ladies and gentlemen here is my Ode to the beard...

Since the dawn of time

Man was to grow

Some Fur on his face

so that all would know

That he was manly And strong,

in the least, very brave

How did he show this?

He just didn't shave

Over time through his face

Came long flowing locks

Some Black, some white

And some red, like a fox

Some curly, some straight

Some thick, and some thin

But one thing is for sure

They are all mighty men

Who has a beard?

Is the question before us,

The biggest and best

Jesus Christ and Chuck Norris

Abe Lincoln, Gangis Khan,

Vikings, pirates, and 1/2 the presidents

Warriors and kings

From the simple to the decadent

Mountain men and monks

Men who were strong and to be feared

All had one thing in common

On their face, was a beard

Cultures are different

But men are the same

Hair grows on their face

Like lions mane

Mustaches are slick

And goatees are blast

But compared to the beard

They all come in dead last

Some folks hate beards

But get off our case

A beard your friend

It's stuck to your face

Facial hair is tough

It cant be unmade

Nothing can stop it

    ....Except a razorblade

In the winter it will help

And your cheeks won't freeze

And in the summer when it's hot

It will cool in the breeze

And guys let me tell you

It's makes the girls all a flutter

And it cuts through their hearts like a hot knife through butter

This ode is not finished

Dear Foe and dear friend

For the praise can continue

For hours on end.

But for now, I hope you love beards

And now feel inspired

But I really must stop

My beard is getting tired

If you'd like to join me

And join the beard show

just lay down your razor

and let your beard grow

What did you think about my poem?  Are beards your favorite or most favorite?