Showing posts with label beard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beard. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

An Ode to the beard

Come Listen closely and you shall hear
A poem so touching you might shed a tear.
It's mighty and funny and maybe a little weird,
But ladies and gentlemen here is my Ode to the beard...



Since the dawn of time
Man was to grow
Some Fur on his face
so that all would know



That he was manly And strong,
in the least, very brave
How did he show this?
He just didn't shave



Over time through his face
Came long flowing locks
Some Black, some white
And some red, like a fox



Some curly, some straight
Some thick, and some thin
But one thing is for sure
They are all mighty men



Who has a beard?
Is the question before us,
The biggest and best
Jesus Christ and Chuck Norris




Abe Lincoln, Gangis Khan,
Vikings, pirates, and 1/2 the presidents
Warriors and kings
From the simple to the decadent



Mountain men and monks
Men who were strong and to be feared
All had one thing in common
On their face, was a beard



Cultures are different
But men are the same
Hair grows on their face
Like lions mane



Mustaches are slick


And goatees are blast


But compared to the beard
They all come in dead last



Some folks hate beards
But get off our case
A beard your friend
It's stuck to your face



Facial hair is tough
It cant be unmade
Nothing can stop it
    ....Except a razorblade



In the winter it will help
And your cheeks won't freeze
And in the summer when it's hot
It will cool in the breeze



And guys let me tell you
It's makes the girls all a flutter
And it cuts through their hearts like a hot knife through butter



This ode is not finished
Dear Foe and dear friend
For the praise can continue
For hours on end.



But for now, I hope you love beards
And now feel inspired
But I really must stop
My beard is getting tired



If you'd like to join me
And join the beard show
just lay down your razor
and let your beard grow







What did you think about my poem?  Are beards your favorite or most favorite?



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The History of the Razorback!



Look at this picture! 
Razorback, Beard, and sword? Best picture ever!




Well readers, around these parts we like things red and hairy (hence the blog title). So, I thought I would write about the Razorback Mascot, what it is, & where it came from, because it was not always so...




 This guy will mess you up!


Pigs are not American.  I know we all would like to think they are, but they're not.  They were brought here by an explorer named Hernando De Soto.  Hernando was a famous conquistador in Spain because he killed tons of Natives in Peru (what a thing to be famous for, right?).  After he went home, he showed the King and Queen all the gold and stuff he had stolen, and they were ecstatic!  They wanted him to go back, so in 1539 he went back to the new world, only this time with more soldiers.  He was going to beat Johnny Depp to the fountain of youth, or something...  He ended up exploring much of the southern United States, except for Mississippi (and I don't blame him). 


Fun fact: The upper route of his journey (Carolinas) looks like a Pig head! 



 He discovered Arkansas and spent lots of his time there.  Even discovered Hot Springs!  

For this mega long hiking trip, he packed tons of weapons, supplies, and... You guessed it! Pigs!  For his 2 year journey, he packed 200 pigs onto one ship(He took 9 ships.  I'd hate to be on the smelly pig ship).
  

Tried to market the water at Hot Springs as 'DeSoto Pop'.

Well just like family road trips where you let the kids out at the rest stop to stretch their legs, some of the Spaniards let the pigs out in Florida, but they wouldn't get back in the ship!  This is known as pig dumping... 


This is known as pig flying.



Just kidding. Its normal to let your pigs run around and get fat.  Then you go looking in the woods for him when your hungry.  In fact, in the early US, you would go to the local county seat and register your pigs ears.  See, you would cut your pigs ears in a certain shape, and if you saw a pig in the woods with a different ear cut, you couldn't kill it.  It wasn't your pig...  anyways...


Wild feral pigs roaming the country side have been a major issue recently.  They breed so fast, and eat so much the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture says they do about $800 Million dollars of property damage a year.  Most states now have open season on wild hogs.  You see em? You can kill em.  Check this out:


Hogzilla.  A true story.


Wild Razorbacks, being famous for their prickly back, tenacity, and willingness to kill everything has shown up many times in popular culture:



Bufford Hollis is the secret Identity for a Marvel Super hero named Razorback.  He is from Texarkana Arkansas, is super strong, wears an electrified boars head, & has the super power to pilot, drive, and operate anything, yes anything. He built himself a super big rig that had rockets and guns and stuff.  He and Spier-man teamed up to kill a demon or something...


In 1984, an Australian horror film was released called, well, Razorback.

Desoto is famous because not only did he discover the best state ever, but introduced this tasty beast into our hearts and stomachs!  How, though, did the Razorback become the mascot for the University of Arkansas?  It wasn't always the mascot for the U of A...



In 1895, the Arkansas student body had a vote to pick their official university color.  It was between Cardinal and Heliotrope.  Cardinal won (thank goodness! Can you imagine? "Here comes the Arkansas heiotropes!") and along with the color came the mascot.  From about 1894 to 1910, we were the Arkansas Cardinals.  Who knew right? I did, thats why I'm telling you...

So we were know as the Cardinals, till one fateful night...  

Arkansas football coach Hugo Bezdek was coming back from an Amazing win.  On October 30th, 1909, The Arkansas Cardinals just beat the snot out of Louisiana State 16-0 in a big game.  The team was headed back with the coach on the train that night, and when they rolled into the Fayetteville station, there, waiting, was the usual, anxious crowd of students and faculty waiting to hear from the coach on how their team faired.  When the steam engine rolled to a stop, the students swarmed in.  When Coach Bezdek stepped out of the caboose the air filled with questions.  Coach Bezdek raised his hands to silence the crowd, and it quited, except one question was shouted over all.  "Hey Coach, How'd our boys do?!"
Coach Bezdek said in a quiet, sad tone, "Well, they didn't play like football players..." and he looked at his  feet.  The crowd was silent.  Then, with a roar he yelled, "They played like a bunch of Wild Razorback Hogs!" And, as they say, they crowd went wild...


The Newspapers started reporting, not about the Razorback Cardinals, but about "Coach Hugo Bezdek and his Wild Razorback Hogs!"  The new nickname became wildly (pun intended) popular.  The next year the Arkansas student body took another vote, but this time it was about the mascot.  In 1910, the Arkansas student body voted the 'Razorback Hog' as the Official Mascot of the University of Arkansas. 




What do you think of this Post?  Did you know how the Razorback became the mascot before you read this?