A Heep of Hats

Where did you get that hat?

Where did you get that tile?

Isn't it a nobby one, and just the proper style?

I should like to have one just the same as that!

Whe'er I go they shout, 'Hello!Where did you get that hat?'

Dear Friends, thanks for returning to the Red Beard Blog for all your blogging needs.  Today we shall speak of a amazing topic: 

HAT's

"That's a Derby!" Curly, 3 stoogies

Why Hats, you say? Well when you think about it, nothing, (save Starwars), has affected human culture more!  Really! ready...  Think of a man from the middle east? A Chinese farmer, Or a Russian? or a jew?  Or Davy Crockett...   They mental pics you conjured up in that beautiful noggin of yours were all of people in hats!  The Arab had a Turban, Chinese farmer was like the mortal comabt dude, the Russian had a fur hat, the Jew had one of those lil yamakas and Davy was wearing a hard hat.  OH! You were thinking of Davy the pioneer?  I was thinking of Dave Crockett, my buddy who works for K&B construction...

Lets be honest.  No one really knows when the first cave man put a log or dead animal on his head to pick up cave-chicks, protect his head in the cave, or declare his dominance over other cavelings, but one thing is for sure, it was a good idea.  Hat Scientists today say those are the very reasons humans have hats:  To protect from the elements, show style and class, and to show military rank. 

Top hat and facial hair, like Peanut butter and Jelly, are both awesome combos!

Hats have major definitions on culture.  Just check this wiki article.  There are tons of cultural hats that are typical of those folks and what nationalities they are. 

But I MERICAN!  What hats are important to me and my nation?!  Well, thats why I wrote the blogpost silly.  So here are my top 5 hats that impacted America!  

Honorable Mention: 

Fedora

Pure Class

What a brilliant hat! Made famous in the 1940's and 1950's because of its ability to stay on ones head & for being a soft hat (the way it could be rolled up when not in use. It looks good too! Humphrey Bogart was so well known for making the hat popular, that Fedora was his nickname! Famous archaeologists even wear it! This American icon would have made it much higher on the list if it weren't for all the dungeons and dragon nerds who thought that it made them instantly cool to throw it on at any time with any outfit... American college student, you know what im talking about...

5th Place:

Santa Hat

(Cats hate Santa & are evil!) 

This hat makes the list because of its cultural impact.  Red hat with cotton balls and fur are completely tied with Santa and Christmas; which are inseparable with America.   Sadly, today this hat has little to do with the Ancient Byzantine pastor that loved Jesus, the poor, and children sacrificially and more to do with American mass-consumerism.  However, this hat has had a major impact on the nation so its #5!  

4th Place:

Trucker hat

This just says, "'Merica"

This style of hat was first given out as free promotional items by farmers and feed companies.  Truckers would wear free hats, thus the name.  The American Truck Driver makes America run.  The cheap hats were always lightweight, practical, and were basically billboards for advanced philosophical ideals proclaiming their messages in phrases like "I heart beer!" and "Nascar!"  They became popular in recent decades by camera salesman Ashton Kutcher. 

3rd Place:

Beaver hat

Your probably saying, "What they heck is that?!" Well, I'd love to tell you! Waaay back before America was only 13 colonies, the pioneers and late exploerers were basically getting anything that could be of trade value in the Americas and shipping it overseas in... ships... 

You see, when the English, Dutch, and France settlers realized that their land claims didn't have tons of gold and jewels, as Spain did, they looked for what resources they could. The BIGGEST resource by far was tobacco. However, when they just so happened to ship over a bunch of beaver pelts, they got into the hands of some English hat makers. They hat makers loved the stuff: they were able to make really cool shapes really easy, it was water proof, stylish and cheap. (The famous 'top hat' or D'orsay was a beaver hat.) Well Poppycock! Every European with any class figured he needed to have one! This drove demand for beaver pelts in the Americas through the roof. In 1624 the Dutch in New Amsterdam (later called New York city) shipped 1,500 beaver pelts to the Netherlands! 1500 Beavers!!! So the European nations wanted to get as many colonists and trappers to the Americas they could so that they would send beaver skins home! That's right folks, a major reason The United States of America is here today is because European's wanted fancy hats. Silly but true! Beavers were almost hunted to extinction but in the 1800's silks hat became the cats pajamas and the beaver was saved! Nonetheless for the partial creation of America, the beaver hat gets 3rd!

2nd Place

Coonskin cap

 Ole Davy bear 'Rasslin! 

No other hat, save #1, is more American! The Coon skin cap! 

When European pioneers began settling the Tennessee and Kentucky areas, they took they it from Indians (like their land) & made it their own, evolving its use and wearing them as hunting caps.

The coonskin cap eventually became a part of the iconic image associated with American frontiersmen such as Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett.  When Walt Disney came out with the Davy Crockett television show every boy in America wanted a coonskin cap, and all the raccoons ran for their lives.  They went to Canada, where they now have political asylum.  They don't get fed up there though so they come down here every now and then to eat our garbage. 

Drum roll.........

First Place!

The Cowboy hat

 President Reagan's nickname: Rawhide 

No other hat is more iconic than the American Cowboy hat.  While similar hats were worn on the Tibitian plan plains as early as the 13th century and the REAL hat that dominated the American West was really the Bowler hat, the American "Boss of the West" is ingrained in American Cowboy lore and is recognizable all over globe!  Right next to Baseball and Apple pie, this thing is Pure American!  

Buffalo Bill Cody wore one: Nuff said

John Batterson Stetson was born in New Jersey and was trained as a youth in the Trade of his father, Hat Making.  When he was a young man he was diagnosed with TB and feared that he was never see the American West, as he had always dreamed.  He decided to leave his family and friends to see the West himself.  When he encountered the flea bags that were the American coon skin cap he new that he could make a much better alternative!  Using Light weight fur-felt he molded the american hat:  The Boss of the West.  I own a cowboy hat and its makes me proud!  Here is a comment from one of his biggest fans:

"It kept the sun out of your eyes and off your neck. It was an umbrella. It gave you a bucket (the crown) to water your horse and a cup (the brim) to water yourself. It made a hell of a fan, which you need sometimes for a fire but more often to shunt cows this direction or that."

The Cowboy hat...


To the Cowboy, a life saving tool.


To the Nation, an icon.